So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
