i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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