I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
