Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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