i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
