What a fucking waste of an outfit
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
