So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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