Dual....:-)
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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