Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
