then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
