Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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