i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
