Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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