Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize