So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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