I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
