Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
