I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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