can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
