making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
