Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
