You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
