So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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