I hate all girls vehemently.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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