Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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