I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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