I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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