U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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