Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
