I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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