he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
