You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Damn victory sex feels great
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