are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
