There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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