We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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