FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
