I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
