my mouth tastes like poor choices
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
