when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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