No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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