So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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