He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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