I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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