Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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