i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
