Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
where are my pants?
in the oven.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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