Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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