Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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