I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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