he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
