The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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