there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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