I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
this will be a night to untag.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I need water and some morals
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
