We should be called the Road Head Warriors
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
should my penis look like a turkey
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
