No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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