god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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