but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
