My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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