He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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