Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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