I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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