its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
we're so committed to being not committed
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
