He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
drinking out of a sandbucket again
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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