3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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